Shoaib Akhtar pays the price for neglecting to pad up

You can always rely on Shoaib Akhtar. The Rawalpindi Express is one of cricket’s great sights when in full flow but keeping track of his actions is even more entertaining off the pitch. He just goes from strength to strength in his antics and, just when you think he has hit the extremes, he comes up trumps again. This time, he has inked his name into the record books by becoming surely the first cricketer to miss a major ICC event courtesy of genital warts.

Shoaib Akhtar working his magic

Schoolboy stuff from Shoaib really. Every cricketer learns at an early stage to check the quality of the wicket before making any decision and if you decide to go in to bat, make sure you have padded up properly first. And even in these days of Twenty20, you don’t just start flashing your blade at everything from the off. Nudge it around a bit first, get your bearings and put a few decent strokes in before you start swinging. Shoaib, impulsive as ever, clearly just steamed in off his long run without giving due thought to the conditions.

This latest twist has surely guaranteed that any film of Shoaib’s life – and what a film that would be – would be awarded an 18 Certificate, containing as it does sex, drugs and violence. In a way, Shoaib’s career has been somewhat tragic. He is a blistering talent but has averaged barely 4 test matches a year since his debut in 1997. A catalogue of injuries, tantrums, dubious lifestyle choices and allegations that he is a chucker means that he has lurched seamlessly from one controversy to another.

And in recent years he has absolutely excelled himself. First came the drugs. In 2006, he was banned for 2 years after testing positive for Nandrolone, along with his fellow fast bowler and enormous ego, Mohammed Asif. This decision was overturned, although nobody has ever really explained why. He then pulled out of the ICC World Cup, allegedly through injury although rumours abounded that there may still be traces of Nandrolone about his person.

Next came the violence. By this stage the poor man was clearly completely unhinged, a fact confirmed when he was banned again, initially for 5 years, shortly before the inaugural Twenty20 World Cup for attacking Asif in the changing room with a bat after a disagreement. His ban was once again reduced and now appears to have been conveniently swept under the carpet because the bottom line is that Pakistan need him.

And now has come the sex. Those who have followed his antics and lifestyle over the years will be far from surprised that he has contracted an STD and all I can say is that I hope she was worth it. It must be said at this point that the PCB have been monumentally spiteful in releasing details of such a private matter and you wonder whether they would have done it had it not been Shoaib. It is an entirely vindictive act. Still, while we may lament that one of the major draws for the Twenty20 World Cup will be absent, you’ve got to laugh.

by Stuart Peel

May 22, 2009